Remembering Tucson

I started this yesterday - so it still counts ;)



Sometimes, when we have tacos or taco bake, I remember the awesome Mexican food in Tucson. And I have conned myself into believing that it's about the only thing I miss. Throughout both pregnancies I really craved the Mexican fast food from the southwest... rolled guacamole tacos, machaca... mmmm.... nothing quite like it. And the Sunday brunch at the restaurant close to my apartment where I would go with my upstairs neighbors after the big booze fests we had on Saturdays... If I ever visit Tucson I will be doing so much eating!



Most of what I remember of my experiences there on a more personal level are the negatives. Sure I had friends there (just a handful), but really I was spending too much time drinking and wallowing in depression. What I find amazing is how isolated I felt there. There I was with friends and living in a big city with lots and lots of people swimming around me every day. And I felt isolated. And somehow that isolation seems worse than the very real isolation I have here in Wisconsin. I live in a town with less than 100 people! The closest "big" town only has about 2000 people! I have no friends here. And I'm not sure I really miss having friends. I am so much more isolated here - but it just doesn't feel as bad.



I have only thought and talked longingly about the food for so long that I had almost forgotten about the overpowering landscape.






I do miss the beauty of it all. The feeling of being surrounded by mountains. There is nothing quite like it. The writer in me fails at being able to describe it in words - it's just too powerful. Words diminish it.

Anyway--- that was all about five lifetimes ago. I've come so far since then. And I certainly have no regrets about leaving Tucson. I may get nostalgic about it from time to time - especially in the below zero weather we've had here in Wisconsin this winter - but there's a lot I enjoy about living in the Northwoods of Wisconsin.